Tuesday, February 8, 2011

What Have I Been Thinking?

I have felt so incredibly awful today.  I had an extremely hard time getting up this morning, and I don't feel like I ever completely woke up.  I've been sluggish, unmotivated, bloated, and cranky all day.  I had a hard time concentrating and focusing, and couldn't wait to get home to go to bed.  I know it's all because of the food I ate yesterday.

What I don't know is why I kept doing that to myself day in and day out for years.  I've basically been the same weight, give or take 20 pounds for the last 11 years, and it was all due to the fact that I was eating like I did yesterday every day.  I really do think I have a bit of a food addiction.  For years it was all about where we were going out for dinner, or what we were having for lunch.  I could tell you all the best places to eat, and quote menus for restaurants in 3 major cities.  I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat to celebrate, I eat to console. 

I learned last night that I'm ready to not live like that anymore.  To tell you the truth I really don't remember anything that I ate yesterday tasting fantastic.  Ok, the cajun fries at 5 Guys are coming to mind, but I could have done without the burger, and defiantely the 32 point baked potato! (Yes, I'm still pissed that a simple baked potato had 75 grams of fat!  They had to have injected it with an entire stick of butter because based on the toppings I saw, it's completely unfounded.)  I'm learning that I like healthier food.  I'm sure there will still be splurging in my future, I mean, we need to enjoy life, but yesterday was my last binge.

1 comment:

  1. unfortunately, it probably won't be the last binge. Remember this is REAL LIFE. We can however, change the way we respond to those 'falling off the wagon' moments. Don't let it ruin your week. One of my favorite songs is about someone asking a monk how they live so spiritually. His response was awesome. "we fall down, then we get back up" Don't let it be a "failure", but just a bad day. We are really good at beating ourselves up. DON'T DO IT!!!!!

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